While You Were Hunting For Booze-Filled Eggs

|

  • CruiseprimetimeThe Tom Cruise Crazytrain will be pulling into Primetime station tonight on ABC’s exclusive interview in which a "totally jazzed, man" Captain Thetan tackles Diane Sawyer’s tough questions – and probably Diane herself. 
  • Axl Rose is bringing Guns ‘N Roses to NYC for the live debut of songs from his long-awaited Chinese Democracy album.  The show will consist of Axl promising the crowd he’s gonna give a "genius performance", then fiddling around backstage for hours on end while the crowd is constantly reminded that said performance is coming "any minute", until everyone finally stops caring and just goes home.
  • Legendary French actress Brigitte Bardot, now in her 70′s, says she "barely eats".  She’s really been such an inspiration on the actresses who came after her.
  • Eminem finally issues a statement about the tragic shooting of his best friend and mentor, Proof.  Something tells me he’s going to say some really mean things about the shooter on his next album. 
  • Page Six drops a bad news bomb on my future Sunday nights, saying that Jeremy Piven’s character on Entourage, which is undoubtedly the best thing about the show, will be leaving the series next season.  Before you get too bent out of shape about the lack of "hugging it out" in your future, consider the souce – maybe producers just didn’t make their last payment to the scandal-ridden paper.