While You Were Looking For a Good Placenta Recipe

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  • MisscleoJennifer Aniston called into Monday’s episode of Oprah to address rumors about her and Vince Vaughn’s
    imminent wedding.  Aniston confused viewers when she kept referring to Oprah as "Miss
    Cleo", and repeatedly demanded to know whether or not "this one really loves me".
  • Kevin Federline says he loves his ‘pimp image’.  You know, nothing says "pimp" quite like asking permission to use the ATM card so you can run out to buy more Pampers. 
  • Paris Hilton has announced her new line of mobile phone video games.  Sources are saying one of the games is just like Super Mario Bros, except instead of saving the Princess at the end of the level, you videotape yourself f**king her. 
  • The bodyguard in charge of Brangelina’s Birth Fortress of Solitude has told the press that if he catches any paparazzi taking pictures, he’ll put them into the hospital.  Sounds like somebody forgot the first rule of Fight Club.
  • Michael Jackson’s latest child molestation case has been dismissed.  For those of you keeping score, that’s Michael Jackson: 82, molested children: 0.