While You Were Working For the Weekend
- Bored with buying children from exotic countries, Angelina Jolie has decided to purchase an exotic country of her own, and presumably all the children in it. First law: weird names and mohawks are mandatory!
- Austria is releasing an official postage stamp bearing the face of supermodel Naomi Campbell. The image depicts Cambell standing triumphantly atop a vanquished assistant, holding a bloody cell phone to the sky.
- Police are looking for a con artist who also happens to be the brother of Eva Mendes. Finally, I understand how she was able to con the whole world into thinking she’s talented.
- According to their "official" website, The Smashing Pumpkins have "officially" reunited. Too bad I "offically" stopped caring about 8 years ago.
- An actor who plays a terrorist hijacker in the 9/11 film United 93 was refused entry into the US to attend the film’s premiere. Apparently Homeland Security was concerned he might be a "method actor".
- John Milton’s epic poem Paradise Lost is going to be adapted into a film. And across the nature, crusty old high school English teachers rejoice!