While You Were Waiting To Launch

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  • Kevin Costner has been named in a recent case involving soliciting sex during a massage at an upscale hotel. Rumour has it he wanted someone to undo his Dragonfly and have a Field of Dreams on his Untouchables.
  • Mick Jagger recently refused President Bush’s request to “Gimme Shelter” in the hotel room the rock legend had already booked. Goes to show, you really can’t always get what you want (but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get Embassy Suites).
  • Britney Spears is concerned that her infant son might suffer long-term brain damage resulting from a series of falls. I’m no doctor, but considering his genetics, I think heavy blows to the head could only help at this point.
  • Jackass Steve-O is reportedly having financial troubles. You mean getting drunk and eating your own feces on television isn’t a guaranteed way to pave the road to long-lasting economic security?
  • Friendly word of advice: Don’t f*ck with Chuck Sheen. Or he will have you Sheened.