• HEADLINE: “Crocodile Attacks Chainsaw In Austrailia” (AP)
  • TOURISM HOTSPOT: Namibia, all because two movie stars turned the entire country into their own private birthing chamber. (Reuters)
  • LOUD-MOUTHED LOTHARIO: If you’re a David Spade and you manage to bag a Heather Locklear, you make sure to talk to the press about it as often as possible. (Page Six)
  • LAME HIP-HOP BEEF: 50 Cent is feuding with Oprah. Bi*ch better watch her back. (Yahoo! News)
  • HALF-BAKED PROMOTIONAL STUNT: Lollapalooza festival organizers upset about rolling papers bearing their name. Meanwhile, the hippies over at Bonnaroo are cursing the wasted brain cells that prevented them from thinking of it first. (Chicago Sun)
  • MOTHERLY LOVE: Eminem is attempting to reconcile with his long-estranged Mother. Something tells me Hallmark doesn’t have a “Sorry I publicly said I wanted to kill you, Mom” card. (Fametastic)
  • UNRULY TENANT: New York’s Hot 97 radio station is facing eviction after several shootings outside their offices. Apparently the old lady upstairs at NPR kept complaining to the landlord. (MTV News)
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