While You Were Conversing By The Water Cooler
- Tom Cruise has designed a workout program to help Katie Holmes lose her baby weight. He’s calling it the “Stop Wearing The Phony Pregnancy Suit” diet.
- Liam Gallagher of Oasis has conceded that his band is no longer the biggest band in the world. He then admitted he thought OJ was innocent, and followed that up by wishing everybody a happy 1996.
- The Black Eyed Peas call their upcoming Johannesburg Stadium show their “gift to South Africa.” South Africa wants to know where they can go to exchange it for something better.
- Teri Hatcher announced that the title of her autobiography, Burnt Toast, is a metaphor. Which is sad, because I bet reading about actual burnt toast is more interesting.
- A teacher has been arrested for trying to kill a student. Geez. Whatever happened to the good old days when they just tried to f**k them?
- Bruce Willis believes he will die alone. I, for the record, still think he willl Die Hard.