While You Were Way Too Worried About Tonight’s Idol Results

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  • A USATODAY/Gallup poll reveals that 51% of adults have an “unfavorable” view of Tom Cruise. This contradicts an earlier Scientologists’ poll that revealed 1,050% of people LOVE Tom Cruise more than LIFE ITSELF. I’m not sure who to believe.
  • Mike Tyson wants to record a song with the Irish boy-band Westlife. Now he’s going after your ears.
  • Wheel of Fortune will add a text-message component to their sweeps week episodes to encourage viewers to play along at home. Your grandparents will be thrilled, once you explain to them what a text message is.
  • Kurt Cobain has been voted the Greatest Rock ‘n’ Roll hero of all time by NME readers. You know, something tells me that’s not what he was going for…
  • Ed McMahon is peddling his own brand of vodka. Finally. It’s about time that drunk bastard shared.
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