Richard Hatch, the very first winner of Survivor, was sentenced to four years and three months in federal prison for tax evasion, after failing to give the government their part of his million dollar winnings. Richard better start thinking up some of his famous “strategy” for surviving life in the clink. I’d suggest “forming an alliance” by offering himself as a girlfriend to “Tacklebox”, the 325-pound man-eating violent offender on his block. It would also probably not be a good idea for Richard to walk around bare-ass naked like he did when he was on the show, as Jeff Probst is not going to be here to bail him out this time. Additionally, I’d think about using the remainder of my winnings to buy as many cartons of cigarettes as possible, to be later used for bribing my way out of undesired rapings (make sure to hide them from Tacklebox!).
Will Richard be able to “Outwit, Outplay and Outlast” the brutal conditions of America’s penal system long enough to be a true Survivor? Find out this fall on CBS when producer Mark Burnett presents his latest reality show hit – American Prison Bitch!