CINEMA’S GOLDEN AGE: The Hanks Hair Does It Again

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hankshair.jpg1. Despite widespread religious protest and unanimously negative reviews from virtually every media source on the planet, the entire planet goes to see this anyway, determined to understand the secrets behind Tom Hanks’ decision to sport such an awful haircut – $77 million

2. Talking Animals. Celebrity Voices. Hilarious Hijinx$37 million

3. Cruise just can’t control stuff like the Hanks Mullet and cute animated animals who sound like Bruce Willis$11 million

4. It’s surprisingly hard to resist the temptation to make another “sinking” or “tanking” joke here, so hows about I skip all that, pretend it’s about tornadoes instead, and just say this movie blows – $9.2 million

5. I guess sometimes your dominatrix just can’t get the job done and you find yourself needing a little more brutal punishment to feel like the pathetic, naughty little boy you know you are. Thank god for Robin Williams$5.1 million

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