While You Were Rinsing Out Your Morning Breath

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  • Lindsay Lohan seeks revenge by bedding Paris ex Stavros Niachros. Never underestimate the vengeance of firecrotch.
  • Michelle Williams’ dad locked in an in Australian jail for tax evasion. There’s got to be a Brokeback joke in here.
  • Jessica Simpson orders bodyguards to close off public toilet. Only MTV cameramen are allowed to hear her pee
  • Ryan Seacrest gets probed by NY Times. Seacrest reveals anal side.
  • New reasons for Axl and Tommy Hilfiger fight. Alcohol mysteriously still not taking any blame.
  • Britney dumped Kaballah because they kept asking for money. And Kevin already fills that void.