It all started with Brandon Davis calling Lindsay Lohan a firecrotch and it all ends here. Meet Juanita, a 20 year-old Los Angeles student and Lindsay Lohan fan/protector, who stood outside an LA nightclub and verbally destroyed Brandon Davis (watch footage here). Her killer lines like “No wonder Mischa left you” and “What does your own sh*t taste like?” have sent Brandon into Osama-style hiding.
So we tracked down Juanita and asked her over Instant Message how the whole thing went down: i just saw him and was like “hell no”
And if she has anything else to say to him: i wish i would have told him to grow some balls
Watch out Brandon, that’s just the beginning…Read our complete Instant Message Interview with Juanita aka Brandon Davis’ worst nightmare, after the jump.
HOW IT WENT DOWN:
bestweekever: So you totally ripped a new one for Brandon Davis. Can you tell our readers about what happened that night?
juanita: it was all an accident, i had just got there and was talking to a friend outside when all of a sudden they’re like “brandon” and right when I see him i just had to go up to him
bestweekever: he was standing outside?
juanita: he had just pulled up and was walking towards hyde
bestweekever: its like he wanted to be spotted
juanita: exactly, he was returning to the place of the crime
bestweekever: was paris with him the night you grilled him?
juanita: unfortunately, she wasn’t
bestweekever: what possessed you to say those things to him?
juanita: i love lindsay, i just saw him and was like “hell no”
juanita: maybe if it hadn’t been so soon after his little rant i wouldn’t have been so pissed off at seeing him
bestweekever: so how did he react?
juanita: when he walked in and i told him something he seemed pretty shocked and when i told him off again on his way out he had nothing to say
juanita: he actually tried to go back into the place but they’re were so many people behind him, he had no where to go
bestweekever: so how long did you wait for him outside of the club and did he seem visibly drunker on his way out?
juanita: it wasn’t that long of a wait, and i’m sure he was actually sober since he was sweating buckets
bestweekever: what’s the deal with that? Does he have a glandular problem? Or was that sweat really tears of sorrow?
juanita: i think he went home and cried himself to sleep, he’s probably still crying now
bestweekever: ha. that mischa barton comment was harsh. had you planned that one?
juanita: nope, none of it was planned it was just most of my thoughts about him coming out from the anger of seeing him
MY LOHAN, MYSELF:
bestweekever: tell me about your relationship to lindsay lohan. you’re a pretty big fan right?
juanita: yeah i am
bestweekever: does she know you now?
juanita: yeah, she knows me now. i’ve gone to a couple of her premiers and tv show appearances, i used to live in san francisco and some friends and i would go to LA to see her. i’ve seen her so many times but i guess the first actual time i really met her wasn’t until the kids choice awards this past april. she’s awesome, she gave me a kiss haha
bestweekever: So have you seen Lindsay since the firecrotch incident?
juanita: i saw her really fast on Monday [at Shag nightclub], but i have no idea if she knows that i’m the one that told brandon off. she knows about the incident but i dont know if she knows it was me
JUANITA KICKS ASS:
bestweekever: maybe she reads our blog. by the way I’m thrilled you gave brandon a taste of his own medicine. Any other people Lindsay has fueded with that you’ve yelled at? Hillary duff?
juanita: nooo haha, and i probably wouldn’t. brandon deserved it, he went off and lindsay wasn’t there to defend herself
juanita: i wouldn’t bother with paris. she wouldn’t understand and probably think it was hot
bestweekever: ok so Brandon apologized to lindsay (reportedly) care to apologize here on the blog to Brandon?
juanita: i have nothing to apologize for, and i really doubt he apologized to her. joe francis says he did but that was all twisted. at first he says “i think brandon should apologize” and then he says “brandon did a apologize, on the record”
bestweekever: well in that case, is there anything you wish you would have said to brandon, that you’d like to say now?
juanita: i think he pretty much heard it all, i wish i would have told him to grow some balls and say something to lindsay’s face and not behind her back
bestweekever: i think you got your point across.
bestweekever: So why did Brandon go off on his firecrotch rant? Was he rejected by Lindsay?
juanita: probably…everyone rejects him
bestweekever: except mishca
juanita: that’s a mystery
bestweekever: I guess my friend, there are some things weâ€™re just not meant to understand.