If you’re like me and desperate for the summer to end and LOST to return, Something Awful has put together this hilarious “secret memo” spoof supposedly written by Damon Lindelof, the show’s head writer. Below are some excerpts from his “preliminary ideas for next season”:
- We will have an episode where we reveal that the entire island is run by aliens and aliens are causing everything and every mystery can be solved by just saying aliens. After the inevitable backlash from the fans, we will point out that the episode aired on April 1st and the entire thing was a prank. Then, of course, one of them will notice that April is the fourth month. And 4 is one of the cursed numbers. Oh, oh, and it’s the first of April and four times one is also four. Which is one of the cursed numbers. Slamdunk.
- I’ve been noticing a decline in the biting wit usually evident in Sawyer’s constant nicknames for the other survivors. In order to rectify this, I put together a sample list of names that are up to his usual hilarious quality:
“long haired dude”
“stuck on the island guy”