SIZZLER: Matt Damon Has Non-Messiah Baby

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damon.bozan.jpgOnly a week after the first photos of Brangelina’s Amazing Baby Messiah blew the minds of the entire universe, Matt Damon and his wife quietly put forth their humble offering to the ever-growing nursery of celebrity offspring when their new daughter was born on Sunday. While Damon’s agent is still holding out for a $5 million deal with People Magazine for the exclusive rights to Baby’s First Photospread, pitches have already gone out to a number of tabloids. Perez Hilton has reportedly offered the proud parents a $20 Gift Card to Starbucks, along with a couple list spots at an upcoming Skyy Vodka promo party if they’ll send him a camera pic of the newborn. If Damon was really smart about his next career move, he’d ditch that no-name wife of his and cut a deal to do some serious baby-making with Jessica Alba or Scarlett Johansson or something. But for now, there can be only one Shiloh.

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