While You Were Watching a Segment Bomb on The Today Show

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  • David Lynch files for divorce. Which means Lynch won’t hear the pitter patter of little embryos falling from the sky anytime soon.
  • Tom Cruise lends his private jet to Brangelina for safe passage from Namibia. Now they have to lend him their frontal lobe for alien testing.
  • Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are fighting again, but this time they cut out the middleman.
  • Nick Lachey has rekindled his relationship with Vanessa Minnillo. Or as he sees it, he hooked up with her again the other night.
  • Cousin Balki joins the Masons secret society. Step 2 in his plan for world domination.
  • Now that Shiloh is a few weeks old, we can finally give a little attention to little whathisname Rossdale-Stefani.
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