While You Were Selling Baby Pictures

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  • Gwyneth Paltrow has announced that she is currently in the process of recording an album. It makes sense, I guess: she acted in a crappy movie about karaoke singers and she’s married to a crappy pop singer – she deserves the chance to sing crappy music of her own.
  • Conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh was detained at an airport this week when authorities discovered a prescription bottle of Viagra in his luggage that didn’t have his name on it. Though he found it difficult to explain to authorities why he had Bill O’Reilly’s penis pills, six copies of the Log Cabin Republican Magazine and a filthy loofa, the fast-talking radio host was finally able to board his flight.
  • There was a time when a Cameron Diaz nip-slip actually meant something. Now everyone’s all like, “Oh, it’s not her secret baby with Justin Timberlake’s newborn nipple? Then frankly we don’t give a damn.”
  • John Cusack has filed for a restraining order against a woman he claims has been stalking him. The Los Angeles woman apparently really, really, REALLY loves dogs.
  • Speaking of dogs: Moose, the Jack Russell terrier who played pooch “Eddie” for 10 years on Frasier, has passed away, joining Lassie, Benji and Old Yeller in the VIP section of doggie heaven (cause that’s where they all go), where he’ll spend his days eating Kobe beef and having more poodle sex than he ever thought possible.
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