While You Were Planning Your Early Escape

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  • Nick and Jessica are incredibly close to finalizing their divorce. Finally, they’ll be able to start hooking up with other people again.
  • Lil’ Kim gets out of jail on Monday. She plans on heading into the studio to begin work on a new album, but not before she f**ks everybody on the East Coast for old times’ sake.
  • Freddie Prinze Jr. is proud to be considered one of Hollywood’s best pranksters. Well, at least he’s considered something in Hollywood.
  • David Hasselhoff required emergency surgery after slicing a tendon in his hand during a bizarre shaving accident. Germany breathes a long sigh of relief.
  • CBS sports reporter Lesley Visser has become the first female to be elected into the Football Hall of Fame. Immediately after the announcement, Joe Namath called to find out if he could kiss her too.