Sizzler: Superman Sick of Looking Like Woman

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Before Superman Returns was released a few weeks ago, star Brandon Routh was a bit of a mystery, known to most people only by his eyebrows and ginormous, unforgiving bulge. But the more we read and see about the guy, the more it becomes clear… that Brandon Routh is a Class One, Grade A, Top of the Line Super-Sissy.

Routh threw a fit at a London press conference on Wednesday when he complained that his makeup made him look “wimpy“, and that co-star Kate “The Breastplate” Bosworth looked more “sun-kissed and natural” (Ed. Note: Kate Bosworth is a woman.) Normally, we would be happy to put down any man complaining of not looking “sun-kissed” enough, but in Routh’s case, we’re going to give him a break. Why? Because he looks like a re-animated wax museum version of a real person, that’s why. And frankly, if a little bronzer is gonna inject even an ounce of personality into the guy, then by all means, turn his pretty little mug into a baby shoe for all we care.

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