Celebrity Trend: Dangerous Accidents

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Baldwin.JPGSome might call it coincidence, other might call it a trend. Yesterday, Daniel Baldwin (the Baldwin you have trouble picturing right now) crashed a rented Thunderbird into two parked cars (including a Hummer) while travelling at 80 mph. Reports now say that Baldwin was driving under the influence, although they haven’t specified whether it was the influence of alcohol or his leading man good looks.

And last night, doe-eyed angel Haley Joel Osment lost control of his pimped 1995 Saturn and slammed into a brick pillar. While there is no word as to his condition, here’s hoping all that robot talk in A.I. wasn’t a joke, and that Osment will be back to his creepily friendly self in no time.

We hate to be superstitious, but you know the old saying: B-List Tragedy Happens in Threes. Which is why we have this little word of advice to send out into the universe: Jonathan Lipnicki, whatever you do, do not set foot in a car. Walk, rollerblade, hang glide if you have to… but don’t drive! You’re the only way my dream of Jerry Maguire 2 will ever be realized.

In Other Transportation News: Aviation experts are quite concerned that Angelina Jolie‘s private plane is not safe enough for “The Most Drop-Dead Gorgeous Family Ever”©. The plane, a $360,000 Cirrus SR-22, is the fastest single-engined aircraft on the market and has caused 10 deaths in 5 years. While experts never weighed in on whether or not lips can be used as a flotation device, it’s pretty clear that if Angelina really cared about the world’s children, she’d get a new plane stat. God forbid, anything ever happens to them, 99 percent of the world’s population will simultaneously lose their will to live. And does Brad Pitt really need to lose any more sleep at night?

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