Celeb-Esteem Intervention: Uma Thurman Edition

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uma-thurman.jpgIt’s a rare day when we feel any kind of sympathy for a beautiful, A-list Hollywood star, but somehow, Uma Thurman has us sulking. First of all, we hear that the statuesque Uma is unhappy with her appearance, particularly with her ears, adding that her face looks like “two fish swimming” in between them. Now, if this was an observation we would have made, it would clearly be hilarious… but if she actually thinks that? Well, then it’s really kind of sad… Uma, you’re gorge!

Thurman is also struggling to find a new man after her last relationship with hunky hotel mogul Andres Balasz fizzled out. She blames her celebrity status on the lack of interested suitors, but we’re beginning to think it might have something to do with her bad attitude. So, if you know Uma, or are within 15 feet of the woman, make sure to shower her with non-stop, over-the-top praise. Some examples: “Uma, have I ever told you that your ears were molded by God himself?” or “Oom, it’s so funny, but I was just thinking how your face looks nothing like two fish swimming side by side.”

Unless this is a huge sympathy ploy to drive people to her new movie, My Super Ex-Girlfriend. In which case, don’t you dare pay that conniving woman a compliment.