Looking Good, Feeling Good, Ashlee

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Check out this picture taken of Ashlee Simpson in New York City yesterday. Something about it is kind of confusing. Let’s begin with her face. She looks good following her nose job and possible lip plumping, you have to admit that. Good tan, standard issue 45-pound sunglasses, fake hair likely ripped from the hands of cancer patients. What’s confusing is her t-shirt. Ashlee apparently never got the memo that girls just don’t do… scat — I mean that, sorry… “that”. Why spend thousands on a face transplant if you’re just going to have people picture it all squinched up on a toilet somewhere? You wouldn’t wear a shirt that said “I’m So Happy I Could Just Skin A Baby”, would you? We imagine Jessica Simpson is looking very upset right now — assuming she still has the ability to make facial expressions.

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