While You Were Doing a Down Dog With Lance Armstrong

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  • Matthew McConaughey, apparently still reeling from our photoshop contest, got a little pushy with a photograther who dared to snap shots of his beachfront yoga session. Yes, the best thing to follow the Lotus position with is the ancient Paparazzi Face Punch move.
  • Nicole Richie has announced her plans to record an album. That’s kind of nice as now Paris Hilton will have a little competition for the title of Least Talented Spoiled Fame-Whore.
  • Miss Puerto Rico passed out during a news conference only 40 minutes after being crowned Miss Universe. Cut her a break – the poor girl hasn’t eaten since she was twelve.
  • Rachel Dratch is leaving SNL to go work on Tina Fey’s new sitcom, 30 Rock. So to recap, she’s leaving her job as an actress on an unfunny sketch show to play an actress on an unfunny sketch show. Sort of makes your head hurt.
  • Listen, if you’re going to make a show called Queer Duck for Paramount, there are a few rules. You may not suggest that Tom Cruise is gay. You may not suggest that Tom Cruise is straight. And certainly may not suggest that Oprah is anything but svelte divinity.
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