In a new version of the classic Monopoly board game, players will use fake Visa Debit Cards instead of fake money to conduct their fake real estate transactions. We think this might be the greatest thing to happen to board games since Operation blew our minds back in the 80’s with its cutting-edge illuminated nose technology. Now even young children can get a head start on learning one of life’s most important lessons: even if you don’t have money to buy something, there are magical cards that allow you to purchase it anyway. Say you’ve got your eye on Marvin Gardens but the Community Chest just poked you with some stupid school tax that left you strapped until the next time you pass Go. No worries, bro – just charge that sh*t. Sure, the dude with a monopoly on Boardwalk may screw you on the fixed interest rate, but there’s always a Chance Card that you could be coming into an inheritance soon, and you can just pay off the debt then, no sweat! You might default on the loan and land yourself in jail, but sometimes in life – and Monopoly – you’ve just gotta roll the dice.
Overall, some great improvements – but here’s hoping that the next version of the game replaces Water Works with Speedy’s Fast Cash Checking Loans, and drops Electric Company in favor of American Consumer Credit Counseling. Also, it might not be a bad idea to get some loan sharks and gambling going around Baltic Avenue. That place is ghetto anyway.