SIZZLER: The Passion of the Mel

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The-passion-of-the-christ.jpgThe trusty dirt-diggers over at TMZ have just released an exclusive report claiming that Mel Gibson was arrested last night in LA on suspicion of Driving Under the Influence. While details are still sketchy, a spokesman for the Sherriff’s Department reported that Gibson was released this morning, but the investigation is still ongoing. It’s hard to dispute an official booking report, but a holy man such as Gibson surely can’t be guilty of the crimes of which he’s been accused. Sure, he might have been having a late-night communion at a nearby tavern, but he had no choice other than to continuously cleanse himself with the blood of christ to be absolved of his sinful lust for the cocktail waitress in the low-cut blouse. No matter what Johnny Law says, Catholicism is not a crime, and the LAPD shouldn’t be allowed to get away with this blatant religious persecution. After all, what would Jesus do? I think He’d turn the other cheek or, in this case, toss Mel his car keys and a bottle of scotch.