…You DO NOT talk about Clay Aiken’s homosexuality. According to the NY Daily News (last item), John Paulus, the ex-Marine who made headlines by claiming that he had a tawdry gay tryst in a hotel room with the squeaky-clean pop idol, has been denied protection from the FBI, which he apparently sought out after being “bombarded” with death threats from crazed Aiken fans. “The Claymates”, described as “a loosely organized army of middle-aged women”, have been operating under the radar for some time now, beginning with secret after-hours “Claymate Club” meetings in church basements, Olive Gardens and suburban salons across the country, where they would plot ways to fight the rumors about their idol’s sexuality that keep popping up in the press. Little did Paulus – or anyone else – know that the group has quietly grown and organized itself into one of the most frighteningly sophisticated terrorist cells in the nation, now rumored to be putting into motion their most ambitious plan yet, “Project Cure the McPheever”. Best be watching your back, Taylor Hicks!