While You Were Cutting Back on Sugar Tits

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  • Mel Gibson Week continues with the release of the actor’s mugshot from the night of his arrest. Not quite a Vanity Fair cover, but the jail’s stylist should be given proppers for that swell 50′s-greaser-curl thing he’s got going.
  • Paris Hilton, apparently concerned about all the negative media attention Mel Gibson has been stealing from her, issued a press release proclaiming that she’s back together with shipping heir ex-boyfriend Starving Nachos. If the Mel Madness keeps up like this, we can probably expect Paris to light herself on fire live on Access Hollywood by week’s end.
  • Corey Feldman celebrated his 35th birthday the only way Corey Feldman knows how: playing a 2 hour concert with his band at House of Blues, featuring bikini-clad strippers, one of the Nelson brothers, drunken Ron Jeremy, a conga player, silly string and a brand new song he wrote that’s “against the war”. Then my alarm clock went off and it was time to get up for work.
  • Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson’s first installment in their series of classy wedding ceremonies took place on board a yacht, which is where Rock first met Pammy while masturbating to her Tommy Lee sex tape back when he lived in his parents’ basement.