Gwyneth Paltrow To Be Chased by Angry Mob

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PALTROW.JPGGwyneth Paltrow has finally admitted what the public has been thinking for years: Bitch is huge. Of course, we’re kidding. Girl could twist herself into a yoga pretzel, hang from a street vendor’s cart, sell for $1, and no one would blink a flaxen eyelash. The Shallow Hal star has told friends that since the birth of her babies, she’s developed these weird “lumps” on her body — not realizing that those things are in fact breasts, and that they’re supposed to be there. Paltrow, famous for her macrobiotic diet and killer dutch ovens, is debating getting plastic surgery to smooth the milimeter of body fat that is keeping her up at nights. But judging from these pictures recently taken at an effing modeling shoot, Paltrow looks as beautiful as ever. So either she can accept herself for who she is — a successful, willowy actress — or shut her trap, open her nostrils, and take up cocaine like the rest of us.