While You Were Training for the Real World Marathon…

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  • Samuel L. Jackson‘s follow-up movie to Snakes on a Plane is called Black Snake Moan. Jackson plays a musician who cures a young nymphomaniac, played by Christina Ricci, of her addiction. While producers of BSM won’t admit to using the publicity from Jackon’s other snake movie to boost ticket sales, it’s kind of odd that the movie’s tagline is “Get my motherf***in’ snake out your motherf***in’ brain, bitch!”
  • The New York Times gives a lesson in Celebrity Gay Denial 101: 1. Say you’re not. 2. Laugh it off. 3. Come out on the cover of People.
  • Is Pamela Anderson already pregnant? You know her breasts are gonna be soooo jealous when the new globe growing out of her body starts getting all the attention.
  • Speaking of which, is Britney Spears pregnant with a baby girl? And, if so, do they make thong underwear for fetuses?
  • Patrick Swayze, clearly outraged by the sentiments of Rob Schneider, stands by his old buddy Mel Gibson and says he’s a good man. We see this for what it really is: A clever ruse to get Gibson to co-star in Road House 2.
  • Mary-Kate Olsen is smiling! Looks like somebody drank the blood of orphans this weekend!