DAILY HASSLE: Is The Hoff Also The Antichrist?


hoffdevil2.JPGWhile completing his morning vanity Google (right between showering and breakfast), The Hoff found himself posed with an existentially troubling question: could he possibly be The Antichrist foretold by ancient Christian prophets? Apparently one of Google’s 7,333,600 references to The Hoff (he knows the exact number) suggests that His Hoffness might in fact be the biblically-prophesied Beast of Babylon sent to bring a reign of darkness upon the Earth in a hellish Abomination of Desolation. Could the former Baywatch star be responsible for the trials and tribulations associated with End Times, and if so, why haven’t we read about this in those Left Behind books? Is Knight Rider actually one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, and does that make KITT a hell-beast? All I know is that I’m terrified by the awesome power of The Hoff and hope that he never chooses to use his omnipotence for dark or evil purposes (other than America’s Got Talent).

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