Paris Hilton’s kinkajou bit her on the arm this week. God knows what kind of diseases that poor animal contracted.
Porn star Jenna Jameson has been forced to pull out of next year’s Lingerie Bowl for safety reasons. Though experts agree that pulling out still isn’t nearly as safe as abstaining from it all together.
Keith Richards is using the brain damage he suffered when he fell out of a tree as an excuse to act mischevious. It gives him a break from his patented 45-year-old “heroin excuse.”
Lindsay Lohan is rumored to be in danger of getting evicted from the Chateau Marmont, Hollywood’s legendary party hotel. Employees are already referring to Lindsay as the biggest mess since John Belushi.
Actress Emmy Rossum says it’s easy to avoid the paparazzi. And the fact that you just asked yourself “Who the hell is Emily Rossum?” proves she’s right.