Here at BWE.tv, we tend to follow celebrity break-ups with the type of vigor most people save for other events, like the Superbowl, or pairs figure skating. We keep long flowcharts diagramming the ups and downs of each couple, and when one splits — specifically a couple we don’t like — we pop open streamers, pour champagne down our bras, and then cry on the phone to our Mothers. For example, upon hearing that lechy 59-year-old James Woods split from 20-year-old girlfriend Ashley Madison (the daughter of a close friend, mind you), our left eyeball shot out of our skulls… from happiness. (Best quote ever: “She truly has the soul of a moth and the brain of a dead trout.”)
Sometimes, though, we like to fantasize about couples we’d love to see together, couples we would root for. So when we read that the lovely (albeit sticky-fingered) Winona Ryder has a huge crush on A Scanner Darkly co-star Keanu Reeves, our heart monitors beeped a little faster. Yes! That’s a fantastic idea. They both have a laid-back indie charm about them that would mesh together nicely. So we’re putting it out there. Keanu, Winona, listen: U 2 R Prfct 4 Each Oth! Make it work.