…OF THE DAY

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  • BREAKUP: Eve breaks things off with her African dictator boyfriend, Teodorin Obiang, after discovering his father is a cannibal. And I didn’t want to say anything, but her ex-boyf totally just e-mailed me about some cash that’s locked up in a Swiss bank account. And what’s wiring $75,000 to a real-life Prince for love, people? (NY Daily News)
  • LOVER’S QUARREL: Brad Pitt tells Angelina Jolie that a part of him will always love Jennifer Aniston. It’s the same part of him that longs to spoon with Ross Geller. (The Bosh)
  • BEST HEADLINE: “Haley Joel Osment Officially Charged With Murder Of 11-Year-Old Saturn” (Defamer)
  • UNNECESSARY MATCHBOX 20 UPDATE: Rob Thomas steps his douche factor up a crotch, writing songs for American Idol reject Chris Daughtry‘s album. (MTV News)
  • GIFT IDEA FOR THE OBESE: Jared “The Subway Guy” debuts his new book Winning Through Losing. It’s a tale about how this fat dude discovers coldcuts and a treadmill, and includes a 17-foot-long centerfold that doubles as “fat pants”. (Adfreak)
  • CARCASS: Star Jones found dead in Maine? Oh, I… I see. Never mind. (AP #1, AP #2)
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