Seinfeld: The Musical!

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seinfeld_lrg1.jpgYes. My fantasy has finally been realized. Seinfeld has been turned into a musical! The show is happening all the way up in Winnipeg, Canada, and while most people living in Winnipeg have never actually seen Jew, they’re still totes pumped about the idea. But if you don’t actually own any snow shoes, what kind of songs do you think should be in it? Here are some we’re currently working on: (sung to the tune of “Seasons of Love” from Rent)

525,600 Kvetches.
525,600 Things that annoy.
525,600 Kvetches.
How do you explain it… to a goy?
From traffic, to cancer, to dating, to masturbation,
From Newman, to Nazis, to bubble boys.
From 525,600 Kvetches.
How do you measure — the things that annoy?
How about — ratings?
Really high ratings?
How about — Nielsen ratings?
Measure in ratings. Seasons of –
Reallllly high ratings.
And also — Millions of dollars?

(sung to the tune of “Maria” from West Side Story)

Spongeworthy!
Is he or isn’t he spongeworthy?
He needs to understand
They just don’t make this brand
Anymore…

(sung to the tune of “Big Spender” from Sweet Charity)

The minute I walked in the joint…
I just wanted lots of lettuce and tomatoes
In a huge bowl
Hey Big Salad!
Maaaaake a real big salad for meeee!

Leave your song ideas in the comments!