BWE: The Pros/Cons of Paris

|

paris album.jpgToday’s the day you’ve all been waiting for; today Paris Hilton’s album, creatively titled Paris, drops. The question is, will you pick it up? We here at BWE want to help you with your decision, so we’ve compiled a comprehensive Pro/Con list of why you Should/Shouldn’t go out and by the greatest album (by a celebrity with absolutely no discernable skills) ever!

The Album Cover
PRO:Paris looks bored and her legs are spread wide open, making this the perfect companion piece to One Night in Paris.
CON: The album costs $12.97 on Amazon. Googling “Paris + Spread Eagle” and finding much, much better pictures than this one costs you nothing but your pride.

The High Comedy
PRO:
Breaking out Paris is guaranteed to elicit a few loud laughs from your friends. Listening to it will result in even more. Singing along and choreographing dances to it… wow. The possibilities are endless.
CON: The fear that your friends won’t actually believe you that you bought it as a joke. Especially when they catch you listening to it alone on your iPod.

The History
PRO:
You already own CDs by Lindsay Lohan, Shaquille O’Neal, Jennifer Love Hewitt and The HoffParis is the final piece of the Ridiculous Celebrity Album puzzle!
CON: You already own CDs by Lindsay Lohan, Shaquille O’Neal, Jennifer Love Hewitt and The Hoff– shouldn’t you start saving money for college or something? Jesus.

The Bonuses
PRO:
A limited edition version of Paris comes with a 30-minute DVD featuring interviews and footage of Paris in the studio. Which is much better than what the actual Paris comes with.
CON: Thirty minutes of Paris talking about her album may actually be more painful than 30 minutes of Paris acting in House Of Wax. Maybe.

The Emotions
PRO:
Paris says this album is so good it makes her, “like, cry” when she listens to it.
CON: All the reviews say the same thing: this album will make you “like, cry” as well. But only when you realize you can’t return it.