While You Were Having Your First Recurring K-Fed Rap Nightmare

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  • Who knew that Matt Lauer was packing all that twisted steel and sex appeal under his tasteful blazer and khakis? Who you callin’ glib now, b*tch?
  • Hulk Hogan in a thong at the beach might just be the scariest thing I have ever seen. One glimpse at this and you’ll need to gaze at Matt Lauer’s toned physique for hours just to feel normal again.
  • Legitimate rappers seem to be surprisingly apathetic towards K-Fed and his hip-hopping exploits. They must’ve missed his totally gangsta, earth-shattering performance at the Teen Choice Awards.
  • Chris Daughtry’s surprising early dismissal from American Idol was voted as the best TV moment of the past season, which he’s totally stoked about, since being a reality show plot twist pays so much money. Sometimes there’s only one set of footprints in the sand.
  • The members of Isis, the band opening up for Tool on their latest tour, say they’re “ready to be booed by meatheads”. Guess those guys in Tool can be pretty tough on the newbies.
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