While You Were Toplessly Cycling with Lance…

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  • The Cookie Monster will start eating fruit. We somehow think a character named “The Fruit Monster” would give Jerry Falwell a heart attack.
  • Producers of the MTV Video Music Awards are encouraging people to storm the stage, in order to create some “hilarious” viral videos. We’d like to tell you not to fall into their marketing trap, then again we would pay money to see the look on J. Simpson‘s face when some naked dude hops on her back looking for a piggy back ride.
  • In an effort to make the carpet match the curtains, Cameron Diaz dyes her hair black.
  • Pete Doherty has been busted in rehab, giving cocaine to a teenager. IN REHAB! We’re kind of starting to love this crazy, googly-eyed son of a bitch.
  • NYC Officials are begging CBS to reconsider their Survivor: Race Wars concept. In response, CBS flashed a “bloods” sign, and took off on their bicycles.