• SPORTS ENDORSEMENTS: While Madonna is busy designing cheap polyester track suits for entry-level pimps, Jennifer Aniston collaboes with Nike… and not in an ad for Tampax, thankfully.
  • REMINDER OF LIFE’S CRUELTIES: The Academy Awards won their 34th Emmy yesterday (which, in our opinion, is like giving a Webby Award to the Nobel Prize website), making the Oscars only second to Frasier, who has the most Emmy wins at 37. And somewhere, a shriveled, miniature David Hyde Pierce sheds a tear for his livelihood.
  • EERIE-TO-AMAZING RESEMBLANCE: At first, we were upset that Ashlee Simpson would dare alter her natural beauty with plastic surgery. But hell – the girl looks like Heidi Klum! Sign us up.
  • BECAUSE CLEAVAGE HAS TO GO SOMEWHERE: Clothes Off Our Backs is already auctioning off Emmy dresses from last night. Don’t worry, gents, you can even buy Jeremy Piven‘s sunglasses! (Hair plugs not included.)
  • BLOGGER THANK YOU: We realize you’ve been inundated with Emmy coverage today. As a thank you, enjoy this video of a dog walking in boots. (with thanks to The Apiary)
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