While You Were Waxing Your Emmy

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  • David Hasselhoff reportedly tricked his ex-wife into signing a prenup on their wedding day by telling her the papers were a marriage license. And that, my friends, is why The Hoff is qualified to judge a show titled America’s Got Talent.
  • Elijah Blue AllmanCher’s son– said he was so scared of catching an STD after having sex with Paris Hilton that he scrubbed his penis with Tilex. But he was relieved they didn’t do anything that would require the use of toilet cleaner.
  • Saddam Hussein was forced to watch South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut, says creator Matt Stone. If we’re supposed to be punishing the guy, shouldn’t he be watching Mind Of Mencia instead?
  • Meredith Viera thinks The View has become a joke, and calls it “hard to watch.” And when a show becomes “hard to watch” after Star Jones leaves, you know that’s not good.
  • Alicia Keys insists that men who say using a condom “doesn’t feel as good” are liars. So on that note I feel it’s time to say that I’m a big fan of Alicia Keys. And I can fly.
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