Paris Hilton, Pampered In More Ways Than One

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PARISHILTON44.JPGPar-Par Hilton has purchased a $195,000 ticket on Richard Branson‘s yet-to-be-built space ship (Paging George Jetson: It won’t happen.) But because of the lack of a bathroom on board, the normally commando Hilty will have to wear a diaper. Now, we’re almost positive that Paris doesn’t really use bathrooms, even here on solid ground. Hilton was nearly sued by a cab driver in January who claims that she peed in the back of his cab. And a very reliable source of ours claims Paris once squatted down in the corner of a Jamaican club, skirt at waist, pissing all over the floor. In our opinion, diapers would be a great improvement — and frankly, we’d pay $200,000 out of our own pocket to send Paris into space. We believe this is what game theorists and greedy people call a “win-win” situation. It just depends on how you look at it…. and zing.

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