Laaaadieeeees! Are you wondering where your husband is late at night? Why, when you go to kiss him in the evening — to quote my favorite Maury Povich guest of all time — “his mouth smells like straight-up p****”? Well, maaaaybe it’s because you’re a worthless housewife who can’t make a cup of coffee worth a damn. If this sounds like you, watch the following Folger’s commercial from the 1950’s, and try your best to scrap together the final dregs of your failed relationship.