Project Runway: Topless Kayne Was In Our Nightmare


Jeffrey.JPGProject Runway is growing increasingly more disturbing. Whereas in the last two seasons, even the villains and/or talentless hacks were still somehow likable (Santino, Wendy Pepper, et al.), this season we have Jeffrey, a weak-chinned miscreant who hotglues litterbox lining into dresses, and Vincent, who will be a shoe-in during next week’s designer straight-jacket challenge. Even the gays aren’t as snappy! Let’s take a look at this week’s most disturbing highlights:

  • The Jeffrey vs. Angela Debate: At first, Angela’s borderline sniveling/rosettey presence made us really dislike the girl. Then, Jeffrey’s vicious bullying attitude towards the girl made us Wayne’s World ourselves back to middle school, and hate him. Last night their bickering reached its peak, with Jeffrey harping over Angela’s mom and her “sad eyes.” Our only regret was that once Angela was eliminated at the end of the challenge, she didn’t give the guy a lanky middle finger.
  • Michael teaching Kayne how to model. OK, Michael’s no Miss Jay, but seeing as he’s “done some modeling work”, he should be pretty good, right? Well, let’s put it this way… his strut was borderline similar to the way we walk after one too many swills from our hipflask. Our favorite line of the night goes to Kayne, with his “It’s easier when you’re from the ghetto… I’m from white trash.” We hear white trash is beautiful this time of year.
  • The designers have to model their own designs. For the first time in our lives, we really miss Austin Scarlett and his mailman outfit.
  • Vincent has a tattoo. On his leg. That looks like someone killed a tarantula with a snowshoe. Discuss.
  • Oh, the designers go to Paris! Parsons is so pretty there!
  • Why is Uli so mysterious? She made her dress because she constantly travels to “parties” at “exotic locations” and needed something to wear “even ven she gets vasted.” We love Uli.
  • kayne.JPG

  • Topless Kayne looked like something that should be found in a wax museum for pigeon-boobed men.
  • New guest judge designer Catherine Malandrino seems like a stuck-up, snobby, French bitch. This should be fun.
  • The sadness when we realized Jeffrey actually deserved to win. We also liked Laura’s dress. We are overjoyed that there will be no more rosettes in any future challenges.
  • We finally realized our dream: Getting stuck next to Tim Gunn in first class on a weekend jaunt to Paris.
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