We are in the best mood! Why? Because the Suri Cruise Vanity Fair hit the newstands with a thetan-heavy thud this morning. While the magazine is being a little Vanity UNFair, in that they’re not allowing certain photos to be published, we’ve already purchased enough issues to completely shellack our foyers in its borderline-creepy-photoshopped goodness. Yes, we think the real father might be Jackie Chan, and yes, the below picture really is straight up “baby toupee“, but look at that face!! Maybe it’s our chronic constipation (aka “food baby”), or maybe it’s our biological Tivo ordering a season pass to loneliness, but celebribaby-mania has really made us yearn for a little cyborg of our own. Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to register our profile on BeMyBabysDaddy.com.