Chelsea Clinton Serviced by Bodyguards

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ChelseaClinton.JPGThe following gossip item is so ridiculous… and yet, for some reason, we really hope it’s true. From Popbitch:

US newspapers claim to have a story that Chelsea Clinton has been getting, er, serviced by her two Secret Service minders. At the same time. The man and woman appointed to protect the ex-First Daughter are said to be in trouble for taking that to mean they should get this up close and personal with their charge. So far the threesome are keeping quiet but with US service personnel getting blown up on a daily basis, shouldn’t we just be happy that some of them are just getting blown?

First of all, we are dying to see what her bodyguards look like, but hours of Myspace trolling have produced zero results. But more importantly… ya’ll just know Chelsay Clintone is a freak! I mean, check out her ex-boyf — you guys, they’re practically twins. Kink-ay! And camman… she is Bill Clinton‘s daughter ya’ll. While she may have been handed the God-given beauty of sexpot mother Hillary, her sex drive is all Bill. We want to see Chels waving her freak flag come this Christmas, or else… she will have to continue doing so behind closed doors.