While You Were Contemplating Retirement

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  • Britney Spears and K-Fed are rumored to have named their new baby Sutton Pierce Federline. They’re really holding on tight to those SPF initials, aren’t they?
  • Jay-Z is coming out of retirement to release a new CD. The CD will be titled “I’m Retiring Again… Now!”, and will be topical and timely until his inevitable return in 2009.
  • Jennifer Aniston has topped People magazine’s annual Best Dressed list. However, just to knock her down a few pegs, they named Angelina Jolie “Best Undressed”.
  • Paris Hilton is all set to hit up Oktoberfest in Germany. She’s looking forward to the opportunity to drink a lot and act stupid for a change… in Germany.
  • Lifelong Yankees fan Jack Nicholson refused to wear a Red Sox cap in his new film. No joke here; we just included this to remind you that Jack Nicholson is the f**king man.