Last night marked the much-anticipated return of our favorite Hollywood Entourage and boy, were we excited. That was, of course, until we watched the episode and were reminded that the show isn’t really that great. Oh well- it’s still fun to watch. Anyway, here are 8 random thoughts about the season premiere in no particular order (um, spoiler alert… I guess).
1. Turtle is borderline retarded. Throughout the entire episode he was stressing over how to pay for Vince’s birthday party– somehow it doesn’t dawn on him until the end to get the party sponsored. Maybe he should’ve saved himself some time and rented Entourage Season 1 on DVD to remind himself that he’s done it before. I would’ve lent him mine if I thought it’d speed his plotline along.
2. Ari accusing E of having Little Man Syndrome is the funniest thing that’s ever happened on the show. In fact, I’m pretty sure that when Piven used the phrase “little man syndrome” it became an act of little man syndrome. Oh, I love it when weebles fight. How adorable!
3. Do you think it’s kind of weird for Adrian Grenier that he’s more famous on the show than he is in real life? I’m just askin’.
4. The producers know they’re allowed to cast ugly women too, right? I’m not saying they have to, but they should know it’s an option. When the role of Vince’s new agent came up, I applaud the man who said, “You know, instead of hiring some older chick with experience that might look the part, let’s go with a hot broad with nice cans.” And you know he phrased it just like that.
5. Speaking of hot chicks, more Sloan please. It’s a damn shame- Emmanuelle Chriqui flashes a nipple at the premiere and she’s still barely in the episode. What does the girl have to do to get some damn action? Crotch shot? Sex tape? Rehab? Cut her some slack.
6. Lloyd is gay, not autistic, right? The poor guy is on the verge of becoming the first gay character in TV history that’s too over the top. He makes Jack from Will & Grace look reserved by comparison, which is scary (but not as scary as the fact I just made a Will & Grace reference. Kill me.)
7. Vince & Ari should just f**k and get it over with. What? If they’re going to try to run through every Hollywood cliche in the book, why not just skip ahead to the Vince Is Secretly Gay storyline? It’d be fun. And after seeing all that sexual tension between Vinnie Chase and his former agent last night, we know exactly who he should end up with. Brokeback Motherf**kin Aquaman, baby.
8. All things considered, I’m still going to watch every single episode this season and secretly enjoy it. Hey, it’s not TV, it’s HBO. So being a fan of Entourage does not mean you’re a fan of bad TV– it means you’re a fan of bad HBO. And that means we’re all safe thanks to a technicality. Whew.