While You Were Reading My Last ‘While You Were’s’ Ever

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  • A Swedish couple has been granted permission to name thier child “Metallica”. It’s all part of their master plan to ensure their daughter doesn’t kiss a guy until she’s 30.
  • Erik Estrada has received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It’s about time his work on Armed & Famous was recognized.
  • Justin Timberlake and Jessica Alba top a new list of sexiest celebrities. And coincidentally, the new list tops the list of obvious lists.
  • Madonna announced that she won’t be adopting any more children. Bitch is straight up kidnapping them now.
  • Heather Mills annoyed fellow passengers on a flight to Britain when she decided to dance down the aisle. Though they were probably just freaked out by the fake-leg thing. That’s all.
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