The Office: I Would Rather Work For an Upturned Broom with a Bucket for a Head than Work for Somebody Else in this Office Besides Myself. GAME ON.

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STANLEY FACE.JPGRather than turning this post into a long-winded recap of last night’s heart-stoppingly funny episode, let’s just cut to the chase:

OH MY GOD.

OK, let’s just back up. From the top: It’s Beach Day in our favorite living coffin of an office, giving Michael the prime opportunity to dry clean his Sandals tee for the occayzh. The entire crew (minus a perma-pasty Toby) head over to Lake Scranton, a dismal small patch of beach that’s anything but Sandals-like. On the way over, a busload of Dunderlings foreshadows what’s to come with a rousing version of Kenny Rogers’ “The Gambler”, replete with Michael’s gospel-esque singing leading the troupe. (On that matter, if Steve Carell were to ever Lohan his way into a singing career, consider us first in line for the album. We haven’t been that moved by a performance since seeing Foreigner live at a state fair a few years ago.) Long story short, in only a handful of minutes, we were to see Pam finally drop her season-long poker face.

STEVE CARELL SANDALS.JPGTil that moment, we are treated to some of the best physical comedy seen on prime time since Perfect Strangers went off the air. Stanley vs. Dwight in the Sumo Costumes, Creed fishing with his hands, and of course, Andy floating like a sad, bloated corpse while a sinister Angela secretly arranged his funeral.

But enough about all that superfluous hilarity. Let’s talk about Pam. Left to rot the entire episode as Michael’s lackey, we see her face a fear that no one else in the office could accomplish: Walking over hot coals. With this newfound courage firmly in place, she hops on over to the rest of the group and makes the following announcement, which deserves to be quoted in its entirety, as we’ve been waiting all season for it:

Hey, I want to say something. I’ve been trying to be more honest lately and I just need to say a few things. I did the coal walk! Just, I did it. Michael, you couldn’t even do that. Maybe I should be your boss. Wow, I feel really good right now. Why didn’t any of you come to my art show? I invited all of you. That really sucked. It’s like sometimes, some of you act like I don’t even exist. Jim, I called off my wedding because of you. And now we’re not even friends. And things are just like weird between us, and that sucks. And I miss you. You were my best friend before you went to Stamford. And I really miss you. I shouldn’t have been with Roy, and there were a lot of reasons to call off my wedding. But the truth is, I didn’t care about any of those reasons until I met you. And now you’re with someone else, and that’s fine. It’s … whatever. That’s not what I’m … I’m not … okay my feet really hurt. The thing that I’m just trying to say to you, Jim, and to everyone else in the circle I guess, is that I miss having fun with you. Just you, not everyone in the circle. Okay, I am gonna go walk in the water now. Yeah, it’s a good day.

(With thanks to Officetally for the transcription!) So there you have it — a drawn out, heartfelt admission from Pam that yes, she’s lonely, and better yet, misses Jim! And Jim is all:

JIM FACE.JPGPOOR PAM! But also – YAY FOR PAM! She’s finally come clean to Jim (and better yet, to Karen), and it’s as though the clouds parted and God‘s luminous rays shined down on the world. She’s free! Nothing like a quick dip in the lake to baptize that feeling.

It’s hard for us to compute the ramifications of this speech. We get a little too worked up thinking of what’s to come during next week’s season finale… but we’re guessing it involved Ah-MAKIN OUT!!! OK, calm… calm… (Jesus, 6 more days to find out!!!!)

AFter the jump, check out this promo for next week (no sneak peak footage, rather just a recap of what’s happened, including the above speech), and ARE YOU GUYS NEARLY AS PUMPED AS I AM?!?! You are, right?

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