So… is it weird that I just typed that title and got a little choked up? It is, right? I mean, it’s a television show, Collins. Buck. Up.
And yet… it is as though the handsomest. most charming man on television has asked me personally out on a date. This is the power of last night’s season finale of The Office. Fictional characters, finctional story, and full-on real-time emotional investment from yours truly (me). It was a rollercoaster from start to finish, at times changing from comedy to borderline soap opera, and covered so much territory I’m a touch overwhelmed. So let’s take this slowly together:
Michael heads over to New York to interview for a huge corporate job opening. Ever the confident gent, he immediately hands over his manager title to Dwight, who celebrates by turning his new office into a Hot Topic, printing out Schrutebucks (the leprachaun to the unicorn that are Stanleynickels), and managing to collect 7 different types of Pennsylvania soil. Oh, and Creed has a fake blog, which somehow justifies my daily existence more than ever before.
On the Michael/Jan front (and we mean front), Jan shows up at the office begging Michael to take her back. And while many speculated that Jan would announce her pregnancy in the finale, she arrives with pregnant not so much with a baby, but rather with twins… silicone twins (which seriously looked as hard as nails). Michael is won over, which just shows that even men with weird sexual hang-ups (in Michael’s case, being sort of childish and womany with his desires), a waxy rack wins em every time. Of course, thing were bound to get ugly, and when Michael realizes that he’s interviewing for Jan’s job, things pretty much go downhill from there. We sort of hope Jan does move into Michael’s condo, negative Ebay feedback be damned – we love the two of them together, no matter how miserable he might be.
Finally — FINALY — Pam and Karen catfight in that secret way only girls do. Slight jabs, a lot of undercutting, and loads of sh*t-talking (Karen calling Pam a bitch was Brill Paxton.) Newly hair-donted Jim and Karen drive to New York for a little bit of fun before their interview. (Funny side note: My first John Krasinski sighting was AT the Spotted Pig, where Jim and Karen ate dinner… Reality Me, meet Fake Fantasy Me. You guys are going to hate each other.) The two sit patiently in the waiting room while Jan storms out of her office, sailor mouth ablaze, until Jim finally steps in to meet with the very crushworthy David Wallace.
And that’s when it happened. Two words people: Yogurt lid. A small note wishing Jim luck with a gold yogurt lid attached from — who else — lil ol Pammy. “Jim, Donâ€™t forget us when youâ€™re famous! Pam” Jim’s brain = scrambled. Interview = sort of ruined. We flash back to Jim and Pam having an intimate moment after “The Speech” during Beach Games:
Jim: The real reason that I went to Stamford was because I wanted to be â€¦ not here.
Pam: I know.
Jim: And even though I came back, I just feel like Iâ€™ve never really come back.
Pam: Well I wish you would.
We cut to a talking head. Pam was in great spirits this episode, truly glowing, and begins talking about the future, what will happen if Jim indeed gets the job and moves to New York. And in the middle of her semi-bullsh*tting (because, let’s face it, she wants the man), the door flies open to reveal a new character I am naming “Determined Halpert”:
Jim: Pam. (To camera) Sorry. Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Jim: All right. Then itâ€™s a date.
Pam: Iâ€™m sorry, what was the question?
Tears. Invisible hugs and high fives. Sure, it wasn’t the steamy makeout we were hoping for, but it does set up a few things. Did Jim break-up with Karen? Check. Does Jim love Pam? Check. Can we wait an entire summer to see what ends up happening with these two? Wait months before we can see their perma-glow shine through the fluorescent coffin lights in Stamford? Barely, but check. It’s gonna be a long summer.
Oh, and Ryan got the job. Ha.