BWE SPORTS: Because Athletes Are Like Talented Celebrities

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Durant 2BWE.tv has decided to dip its curious little toes into the world of sports, and they’ve given me, the resident sports nerd (and music nerd, and Simpsons nerd, and just outright, regular nerd) the honorable task of proving to you on a daily basis that the sports world is just as ridiculous as the world of celebrity gossip. Don’t believe me? Just wait until A-Rod flashes the world his vagina.

  • College basketball superstars Kevin Durant and Greg Oden will likely be heading to Portland and Seattle after last night’s NBA Draft Lottery. The pacific northwest hasn’t seen a duo like this since Kurt Cobain and Eddie Vedder, though hopefully, Durant won’t kill himself really young and spend the next two decades being overrated in music video countdowns.
  • A 61-year-old coach from my hometown Pittsburgh Steelers is in trouble with the NFL after inadvertantly forwarding a pornographic email to numerous high-ranking team and league officials, including the office of the NFL Commissioner. Not only is this plot completely stolen from “The Office,” but the dude even looks a little like Creed. If someone finds his blog, let me know.
  • A day after saying that Michael Vick’s involvement in a dogfighting ring wasn’t a big deal, Redskins runningback Clinton Portis clarified that he wasn’t condoning dogfighting, just saying that Vick was being unfairly treated. He then challenged anyone who had a problem with his comments to have their dog try to fight his dog.
  • The New York Daily News reports that Yankees first baseman Jason Giambi failed a test for amphetamines in 2006. Giambi disputed the test results, however, claiming that a false positive must have been created by the incredible, incredible amount of steroids in his bloodstream.
  • The Anaheim Mighty Ducks held off the Detroit Red Wings last night, 4-3, and will advance to the Stanley Cup Finals against the Ottawa Senators. The Ducks have never won a title in their thirteen year history, but they’re not feeling any pressure; remember, this team beat The Hawks, Team Iceland, and Varsity, plus Wolf “The Dentist” Stanssen doesn’t play for Ottawa.