While You Were Crashing the HBO Website…

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  • Paris Hilton has decided to skip appealing the judge’s decision to send her back to jail to finish her sentence. Which is a shame, as we were just getting used to CNN’s new “sluttier” coverage.
  • For those of you who feel like this world has turned corrupt and dirty, we’d like to offer you some solace: There are still people who are harboring heterosexual fantasies involving Clay Aiken, eternal hellfire be damned.
  • A reporter decides to see what it’s like to be Victoria Beckham, dressing up in various corseted hooker gear seen on the former pop star. Sadly, she forgets to make on a homeless person and wipe with gilded hundred dollar bills, but the article still stands for its scientific brilliance.
  • Dunkan Sheik, the guy who sang the 90′s hit “Barely Breathing”, walked away with a few Tony Awards at last night’s ceremony for his musical Spring Awakening, making it the most surprising award win since the Spin Doctors nabbed an NAACP award last year.
  • A lack of a condom prevented Madonna and JFK Jr. from consummating their sordid affair in the 80s. We guess that Kennedy kid is too good to use the provided shower cap like the rest of us.
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