Just Who Is the Total Recall “Two Weeks” Lady?

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PRISCILLA ALLEN 2.JPGEarlier today, I referenced one of my favorite scenes in cinematic history, from the movie Total Recall: The famous moment when a heavy-set woman is at an airport on Mars, answering security questions, only to repeat the term “Two Weeks” over and over again and start flipping out. Her eyes roll back in her head, she practically foams at the mouth, and THEN… her hair falls off. Just when your mind is about to be blown, everything stops. Her ear comes out like a doorknob, and is twisted, allowing her face to open up like an automatic door. Then, it is revealed: We are actually watching Arnold Schwarzenegger trying to escape Mars in a dress (it’s good to know rubber fat suits are still available hundreds of years from now). “Get Ready for a Surprise” indeed.

After watching the clip this morning for the umpteenth time, it occurred to me: Who is this “Two Weeks” woman? In all my years of adoring this movie, I never paused to think about the brilliance of the performance, and the fact that we, the movie-watching public, sort of just grew to believe that this woman was some sort of robot-puppet being controlled by Ahnold from the inside, instead of just admitting what she really is: A hyper-talented character actress who barely fits into Hollywood’s limiting mold.

Priscilla Allen Total Recall1.JPGWell, enough is enough, I says to myself. So I did some research, only to discovery that this brilliant actress’s name is Priscilla Allen — and while her TV and movie credits are sort of sparse, she is referred to as the Grand Dame of local theatre seen in San Diego, CA. She also earns a living as a drama coach, though unfortunately in every single biography I could find of her, it is always mentioned that she has worked opposite “Arnold Schwarzenegger”… though, tecnically, so have like 48 toddlers in the movie Kindergarten Cop, but hey, who’s counting? Then again, it’s not often you read something this awesome in someone’s biography:

She is most often recognized as the “exploding head” in the blockbuster film Total Recall with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Yes… that’s better. I wonder if she has Seinfeld syndrome, where instead of people yelling out “Jerry” or “Elaine”, they yell out “Two Weeks” or “Exploding Head Lady!” That alone should earn this woman an honorary Academy Award.

I’d also like to personally thank her for existing, as it is because of her Google search that I came across this amazing picture, which I am about to use as my main profile pic on my Myspace page. Intensity and class, ladies and gentlemen. Intensity… and class.

We’ve reposted the video after the jump, along with some other photos of Priscilla the Two Weeks Lady we found on the web. If this doesn’t brighten your day, well… we just don’t know what to tell you.

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Here’s Priscilla demonstrating her Noogie technique for when one is physically attacked by a house painter.

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It’s good to see Eddie Murphy’s make-up artist is still working!

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Ladies and gentlemen… the world’s tiniest headshot. (And the only one I could find.)

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Trying to make sense of this picture would in all likeliness ruin it. So just enjoy.

And for posterity’s sake:

Update: Cityrag informs us that The Two Weeks Lady is, in fact, Wynona Judd. Thoughts?

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